There was once a time when i would practically lived in makeup. I would wear it to go to the local shop for milk, when i was going to the doctors even when i was going to bed. Wearing makeup was something i could hide behind, i felt more confident and even more alive. I’d feel like someone who mattered and that’s crazy right?
Nowadays i rarely wear makeup, not because I’ve become more confident (oh god no) but i have simply lost the motivation to make myself look nice on a daily basis. I am still extremely self conscious and i worry massively when it comes to what people think of me. It’s sad that we live in a world where girls feel the need to be dolled up to feel accepted. If you don’t feel like that then i seriously praise you, you tell em gal!
Going back to my story when it comes to makeup; I can go weeks makeup free now. I even dress super casual pretty much everyday and i don’t wash my hair for days at a time. I was in town the other day looking like i’d just got out of bed feeling so worried about what people must have thought. I could feel peoples eyes on me, just judging me. I hated it. I always do.
I remember going into a clothes shop to find a new outfit for some event i had on. I got to the changing room and if only looks could kill. You know that up and down look that just makes you feel completely unconfident. The assistant was clearly thinking something about how i looked because their attitude to me sucked. I remember the person behind me was totally gorgeous and they was so welcoming to her asking how her day was and if she’d found what she was looking for. Why didn’t i get that treatment? I know this must have been based on how i looked because when i went into the same shop another day this time with my makeup on, hair done and a smart outfit the same person had a completely different attitude towards me. Weather i was thinking to much into it or not i felt so hurt and annoyed.
I came to the conclusion that how i look affects how i am treated but i’m not going to doll myself up every day to feel accepted by other people. I’m not a model, i’m far from sexy but i am okay with that. Don’t judge me on the fact i have a bare face and i’m wearing leggings and a pullover and most certainly don’t be surprised when i rock up looking bomb af. I have two looks, the real me and the glam me. But they are still the same person, what’s on my face doesn’t define me. Don’t treat me different based on either look. It’s shallow and wrong.